Author, Hisham Shukor
Lack of confidence, distrust and anxiety are a toxic concoction. Ever wonder how one person can survive with all that inside them? Surprisingly these negative people exist all around us and are impossible to avoid. But on another note, you will never have moments of despair, anxiety and discouragement. A positive person will never let these thoughts take over their life.
You live the four-to-one ratio (The Journal of Socio- Economics, Vol. 37, Issue 4): You generate four positive thoughts for every negative one, to keep situations from getting out of hand. I subscribe to the view that real friends are like pure gold. They require time and effort, though. Suffice to say good friends are a fortification when we suffer loss, sorrow and loneliness. They are also great companies when we have to celebrate.
“Developing a prime quality friendship is neither easy nor automatic. But it is well worth it. Experts have even put a price tag on quality friendship and at the moment each one is worth $133,000, in terms of life satisfaction and happiness, (Robert Locke, 2016). If it is a pay rise, then, friendship which is worth so much more. Friends will always be there for you. Looking at your bank balance when lonely will not make you any happier”.
Negative people survive on worry – a very unhealthy diet. This mindset is geared towards the need to feel protected and aware to an extreme degree. Practising mindfulness and staying in the present are great ways to squash worry. When someone starts to tell you what you should do with your life, what style to don or to hell with another opinion and to stamp even vulgar words that he is fond of, you can be sure they are in the negative force. They do not realise it but this is a sure sign that they have not organised their own life issues. It is much easier to tell everyone else how to live their lives!
“There is a neurological explanation as to why some people end up being so negative. It has to do with the part of the brain called the amygdala, (Effective Mind Control, The Amygdala & Emotions, Google, 2015), which functions as an alarm and is constantly on the lookout for danger, fear and bad news. Scientists believe this to be the brain’s default position.
In evolutionary terms, this is understandable; it is all part of the fear-flight mechanism in which the brain uses most of its neurons to keep up with all the bad news that is stored in the memory. People with experience in war doctrines, captivated with life in the armed uniforms, they rarely envisage a happy outcome or great result, be it economics, law reforms and just about anything under the sun. They always imagine that everything will go wrong.
“Research has shown that media exposure to violence, death and tragedy contributes to depression and anxiety, as well as to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). It colours a negative person’s outlook on life,” (Graham C.L. Davey, Ph. D., 2012).
Negative individuals tend to complain a lot, swayed that the whole world is against them. They are usually the victim of a lousy climate, a difficult boss, bad luck, and their upbringing. They hardly step back to look at other factors – such as a lack of energy, creativity or simply hard work. In addition to being demanding, they suck out all your energy, just like a vampire. They are simply incapable of producing any positive energy and will absorb your attention, time, and energy as they proceed to drag you down the negativity spiral. This is surprising to note that a negative person will hardly distinguish joy, passion, contentment and excitement. These are not emotions or sensations that they regularly experience.
Of course, this is hardly surprising when considering these persons are fixated on their unsatisfying jobs, relationships and social status. There are times you want to share great news about your dream job, engagement or a new car. But when you want to tell a negative person, you hesitate. You know that they will always find a way to make it sound negative. They will caution you to be careful, warn you of the dangers and tell you to think cautiously before accepting.
I conclude, avoid this toxic individual for a greener and healthier life.
Hisham Shukor is the School Principal at National Primary school.